By Charlie Phillips | August 13, 2017
Our society desperately needs a course correction. I walked outside today and what did I see? People wearing eyeglasses instead of glowing red visors, trees instead of monochrome holographic ads, and gasoline fueled cars driving safely instead of hover cars doing 200 in loosely defined sky lanes. Worse yet young people spoke normally, eschewing an exaggerated lingo derived from random sci-fi jargon.
In short, we’ve been denied the semi-dystopic kitschy sci-fi future we’ve all been promised. What’s the solution? A Batman Beyond movie obviously. Let’s cast it.
1. Clint Eastwood as Bruce Wayne
There are more than a few similarities between “Dirty Harry” and Batman. Both are stoic, tough as nails vigilantes who go outside the law in their pursuit of justice; they’ve lost partners and along the way have had their share of torrid love affairs. If this were the 80s or 90s, I would gladly sign off on Eastwood to play the Dark Knight proper. But given his age and recent acting and directing experiences, I’d say that he’s ripe to become the much older Bruce Wayne.
Just like Bruce Wayne, Eastwood’s age hasn’t slowed him down in the least, nor has it tempered his gripping and acerbic spirit. We’d all miss the iconic voice Kevin Conroy brought to the role, but Eastwood’s distinctive husky timbre would more than make up for it.
2. Nicholas Hoult as Terry McGinnis / Batman
Terry McGinnis isn’t the sort of teen character that can be played by a Tom Holland type. When you look at the way he’s depicted visually and tonally, he’s more twenties than teenager.
To properly represent the next generation of Batman, we need someone who’s a regular triple threat: tall, dark and handsome. James Dean by way of Blade Runner. Nicholas Hoult has gained experience playing somewhat brooding superheroes as Beast in the newer X-Men films and he’s got Terry’s look down pat. What’s more, he shares Terry’s passion for motorcycling.
3. Pierce Brosnan as Derek Powers / Blight
Derek Powers is a nice change of pace from your standard Batman villains. He is elegant and well connected rather than a fringe psychopath like the Joker or Scarecrow. He’s so influential, in fact, that he managed to worm his way into Wayne Enterprises and take over the day-to-day operations of the company. Only further demonstrating why a new, younger Batman is necessary.
Pierce could take his experience playing James Bond and simply perform it older and darker.
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mad Stan
Every movie needs some comic relief and Mad Stan was the breakout comedic villain of Batman Beyond. His pseudo-anarchist rants and blowhard personality endeared him to millions of viewers. I myself would pay good money to hear Stan’s rants against bureaucracy and information delivered by the Austrian Oak.
In the year 400 BC, Zeus in the form of a golden beam of light visited a mortal woman. The result of this union was a demigod! Charlie Phillips . . . is not that demigod, but he is a fan of non sequitur, and comic books too if you can believe it. Charlie is a student at James Madison University where he studies Media Arts and Design. Currently he works as a writer for ComicBlitz and in television development.